SO it seems like last night Neil managed to persuade the parent into calling the police after all, and today during lunch we got a visit from a nice police lady ♥~. Seems she and two others regularly patrol the village (the grandparent says she's seen them up on the top road) and she said that while we have little to go on for the incident last night, they'll make sure to keep an eye on this street, and they'll ask around and use their contacts and the suchlike to see if they can get any leads. The main thing though is that according to her, we're not the only people this has happened to - other houses in other roads in the village have also had eggs thrown at their houses, so she said while we don't have any descriptions or anything of the people who did it this time, we have at least helped to add more information into establishing a pattern, which they're going to try to follow up ♥. I mean, it's not nice that it's happened at all but it's kind of 'nice' to know that we're not the only ones this has happened to, you know? Also reassuring to know that the area is being patrolled/looked into, the policewoman seemed pretty determined and into the whole thing, which is good ♥.

Also interesting was earlier this morning, apparently - I wasn't awake yet to see, but the parent and Neil were cleaning the car and such and a group of three girls went by; two of them kept looking straight ahead while walking, and one of them was covering their face as they walked? Because, you know, that isn't suspicious at all.

The policewoman also told us of a recent incident up in the town where eighteen cars got their tyres slashed over the course of a night D: WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT. I MEAN. WHY WOULD YOU EVEN. aughhghghghhhh

Anyway. It feels like the police have our backs, so ♥

Ok. Don't really have thoughts about the cancellation but...two things:

1. Honestly, could SME be acting any more childish? This is ridiculous. They've canceled concerts before, for less, and not felt the need to give a reason at all. The finger-pointing on the official statement of cancellation couldn't possibly have been more juvenile if they were actually in grade school. I thought it was their performers that were just kids, not the board.

2. Fandom. it's really doing quite well with the finger-pointing. More of them aren't taking sides with the 2-3 split than are. Those of them that are can go fuck themselves. They all need to remember at this point, however, that even what the three think at this point doesn't actually matter all that much in the dealings. Unless Korea is very different, you sort of put yourself at the mercy of your own lawyer during proceedings like this. Sure, it's possible to over-rule, but it's generally considered a VBI.

*sighs* And now I go back to waiting. Even though I'm pretty sure this is going to end so very badly. I refuse to believe that, though. Another thing DBSK has done. Turned me into Gollum. "Nooo, must trust the booooys, precciiooouus," "SHUT UP! BOYS ARE FUCKED!!!" "Noooo, preciiooooouuss boys. Must have faith" ^^;

http://www.smartbitchestrashybooks.com/index.php/weblog/comments/habo-a-lost-bargain/

Erin asks:

I was wondering if you and the Bitchery could help me remember a book I read, probably the mid-to-late 90s. I remember I bought it in one of those cheap-o romance novel sets you could get at Waldenbooks. Two or three bound together with cellophane for about $3. Anyway, this one in particular was so cool, but I got rid of it because my mother frowned upon romances. I remember it had a silvery glittery cover, with just the title—no people on the front. It was about a woman who for some reason was seeing a therapist, and she agreed to be hypnotized. She ended up going back to her past life while under hypnosis (I want to say her past self was living in the 1800s, maybe early 1900s), and was involved with a cult of some sort that worshipped some ancient Egyptian god. It ended up that the story went back and forth between her present and past self, and the villain (the head of the cult, I think) was able to follow her to the present. So she was in danger in both lives. The hero was there to help her fight the cult, and then somehow his present self found her present self and they lived happily ever after. I know it’s not much to go on, but I still think about that book today and would like to reread it. Or maybe the Bitchery would even have suggestions for similar books?

Hypnotic time travel? That’s a new one—almost as good as hypnotic breaking of the “Give a Shit,” a la Office Space.

( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

Attractive Fascinante
- Kohitsuji to Ookami ch 1 - 6 Complete by Sakurai Reiko

Blissful Sin
- Bousou Kareshi ch 1 by Sakira
- Furue Tsumore Shiawase no Hana ch 4 Complete by Kousaka Akiho
- Shoujo Mangaka no Koi ch 2 - 3 by Konno Keiko Joint w/ Nakama

Dangerous Pleasure
- Dekiru Otoko no Sodatekata Vol 2 ch 1 by Yamato Nase
- Osoba de Misasete! ch 3 + Extra Complete by Hiiro Reiichi
- Zion no Koeda ch 3 + Extra Complete by Inariya Fusanosuke

Silver Soul *Gintama DOujinshi
- Across the Universe (Sakamoto x Gintoki) by Nagisa [Plug]
- Discord (Sakamoto x Takasugi) by Harumaki Tokiko [Mikawaya Toufuten]
- Ino mo Kuwanai Hanashi (Sakamoto x Ginpachi) by Hitomi Mito [Kline]

Yes Rhade Djs
- Basara 6 Behind the Scenes (Everyone) Sengoku Basara 2 Doujinshi by Kodaka Kazuma [K2 Company]

Over. Finally. So tired, still. So much to do still, but at least the hardest parts that involve going places are over.

First, while I was at the hospital waiting a kid let me play with their PSP. Dissida. Is it my imagination, or is Firion...entirely gay? I don't like throwing that word around, but in this case I think it might actually be true. Oh my GOD, the boy is ridiculous. He's got a few points on Kuja.

Anyway, onto the stuff that happened:

Finished with 27 of my 30 classes for the week, and went to get my EEG (and several other tests to various parts of my body) done on Friday, as ordered by my doctor. The reading was...worse than the last time I did one, actually. Four spikes in the half-hour period as opposed to one.

However, about 10 minutes into that period I also had something of a panic attack and
spent the last 20 digging holes into my palms with my non-existent fingernails, and wondering how the fuck I was supposed to hyperventilate for that part when I already was. Apparently the hospital phobia that was formed when I was seven is still there. Well, I knew it was, seeing how I twitch and want to scream every time I walk into one, but apparently it's still strong enough that although I mostly remain twitchy and can pretend I don't actually want to run off screaming, once I'm directed underground into a badly-lit, narrow, dead-end hallway and then into a tiny room, it switches back on full-force. I'd also taught four classes between 8-11:30, and then had to dash to the bus stop so I could have the EEG done at noon,then a 2pm doctor's appointment, then a blood and heart test after that. 3.5 hours at work, 5+ hours at the hospital. Fun day. Also, apparently in addition to the blurred vision, tegretol + reallyreallyreallyfast strobe lights can lead to nausea. So I was panicking and nauseous.

All this torture to have my doctor tell me that my blood levels were ok (he wanted his own readings. Didn't trust Dr Bridgman's this time) and that I was still having brain spikes at could lead to potential seizures. Both of which I already knew. "I'm sorry, you haven't outgrown your seizures when nothing has changed recently in your life" isn't exactly surprising news. My next potential point for growing it out is pregnancy, and that's not going to happen for a very long while if ever. Although my mother joked that I should get pregnant just long enough for the major hormone changes to occur, then abort.

The Saturday classes were interesting, although I am always fascinated by my body's ability to ignore things when it must (even if it does occasionally lead to me getting pneumonia). My teachers never believe I don't feel well because I'm still so bouncy in classes. Hell, half the time I don't believe it. Had to teach one of the lessons I hate the most out of the book so hard. Gairaigo/loan words, ie, words that the Japanese language didn't have so they borrowed them and created their own pronunciations. Things like television becoming terebi, etc. Now, the thing I hate most about it in terms of the kids is that there are certain words like "glove" for baseball glove. The Japanese language doesn't have a 'v' sound to be found, and it gets replaced with 'b'. Do they ever explain this or do activities to help the kids just hear the difference? Nope, just assume the kids can, and have games ASSUMING they can. -_-# Then, on my side of personal pet peeves, there's the goddamn tomato. The Japanese use the Toe-Ma-Toe pronunciation, but they feel quite assured that the English pronunciation is Toe-MAY-Toe. Now, Mainers use the latter, but I'm smart enough to know that both exist. Hell, a shitload more of the word uses the former. But, NOOOO, I'm required to teach the May version. It annoys the fuck out of me, because both are fine. Fuck, there's a goddamn SONG about about. But that's just my personal pet peeve.

Anyway, off to prepare for the major presentations I have on Thursday and Friday. My body hurts all over from the medical tests. I'm not sure why, but I haven't really been able to move properly, except in class, since I finished with them. It's not like they involved spinal taps or anything.

OK. So, I hardly ever watch TV. Oh, I watch a TON of shows, but very rarely live. I tend to download or just buy the boxed season DVD sets. And that works out well enough. But it means that I never really see commercials & I'm often behind on things. Then add in the fact that I don't DO reality TV. If I want reality? I go outside. Which means I've never seen American Idol & have no real clue who most of the AI people are or what they do.

But. This has now changed. Goddamnit. freakykat's been gleefully filling my head w/ the shiny that is Adam Lambert, Kris Allen, & few others whose names temporarily escape me. Whee! But I'm still not gonna watch the show. I think.

I've recently picked up a new doujinshi artist who I really enjoy, and she has, er, about 40 doujin, most of which are 50-250 pages and not easy on the wallet, so I'm trying to clear my collection out of ones I can live without. Prices are negotiable, but I'd prefer not to.

Like-new condition. Both TnC ones are DOGVILLE.

( TnC doujinshi )

( Lamento Doujinshi )

Can take Paypal or MO. Shipping within the US/Canada will be quite cheap.

There may or may not be more coming. I have 3 more TnC ones I'm on the edge about keeping (Another Gunji x Akira, a Kiriwar x Gunji, and a Kiriwar x Takeru)

x-posted to the TnC comm.

Squidoo's supersize clothing Lens, Full Figure Style: Celebrate Your Curves! i love Beth Ditto.
MRS STYLEBOOK 2009 EARLY SUMMER - Japanese Pattern Book is still fricken sweet.
Alter Ego makes the corset i wore at Nekocon. Which is rediculously cheap.

OKAY SO. I was just sat here, watching teebee. Suddenly, Toby starts barking, which is weird; he barks a lot at the grandparent for no reason, but if he's with me and barks, it's for a reason. I'd heard a slight thump sort of a noise, but reckoned it was just somebody closing a door upstairs and it'd spooked him, or something. Then, the parent came downstairs asking if I'd closed a door down here, because she'd heard a noise and the cat had been all spooked. So we were weirded out for a bit, then she went away. She came back a few moments later saying someone had done something to the car parked outside, so I went and had a look.

Seemed what had happened is that:

a) Somebody had thrown egg/s at the front door (which was what the noise that alarmed the animals was)
b) Somebody had left a traffic cone in front of the car
c) Somebody had thrown a yogurt pot full of yogurt + grit from one of those grit bin things at roadsides over the windscreen/roof of her car

and it's just like. what? why would you even--?

Sometimes, when the pub along this road was open, you'd get groups of inebriated people causing a fuss along the street - I remember once I was just sat here while a fight broke out on literally the other side of the window, good times I'm sure you'll agree. HOWEVER that pub has been closed for a few months now, so there's that's not a reason... and also, we didn't hear a group of people out there (unless they were real quiet), so it must have been one person? One person carrying a (heavy! tried lifting that thing, heavy man) traffic cone, yogurt-with-road-salt and egg/s. Who chose, out of all of the houses along this street of which we are not the first, our house to throw the latter at. Who chose, out of all the cars parked along this street of which the parent's car is not the first, our car to throw the yogurt/salt mix at. Again, why would you even do that?

The fact that they would choose our door and our car is kind of... the parent seems to think that it must be somebody with a grudge, to do something like that (about six months ago, somebody scratched down the length of her car, the middle car parked in a row of three cars, for also no reason we can fathom)... but I mean, who? We don't really know many people around here for anybody to have a grudge to begin with, you know? It's not like they know anybody to have had cross words, I'm a good four years out of being in the school system and while we can safely say I was mercilessly picked on for most of my scholastic career that never got physical (well I got punched in the face once in year six but anyway) and it's not like anybody from back then really knew where I lived or anything either, so...

It's just, every element in this is completely inexplicable. Why was somebody carrying those particular accoutrements around with them at ten-to-midnight? Why were they walking down this back-end street at that time? Was it random? Was it someone with a grudge? Where on earth did they get a traffic cone from to begin with? Why would somebody do that? ARE WE SAFE IN OUR BEDS? Kind of worried now :x I mean, getting your house egged... we're past Halloween now, you know?

SO CONFUSED. WHAT. WHY. I DON'T EVEN. WHAT.

An old draft that LJ pulled out of its hat. It feels appropriate, considering one of my few sources of happiness in this life:

"Music; specifically, heavy metal, will either put me in my happy place or in my sad bed place. On occasion, it will send me to great uplifting heights; but, it has the potential to put me in to an attack of anger, sadness and jealousy. This is especially bad if I'm playig some metal at the time. It makes me think that the other person is always always is who had the strength, wit, courage to become successful, where I'm left with all the evidence that I am none of thse things."

I have ideas floating around my head that would, if allowed to mature and be realised, potentially give me all the happiness and success and affirmation that I crave. Instead, I see lost and unfulfilled dreams that die from my own lack of courage, luck, talent, whatever you call it. I don't even know if it's really heavy metal that I really crave; that or the image of a backbone that listening to it gives to me.

I see myself as the ineffectual nobody, destined to skulk through life; no talents, nothing to set me apart. I see the band. Successful, confident, talented; so much better than I am, than I ever was, than I ever will be. How is it that everyone I see has some aspect of this, and I have none? Is it something I can fix, can remedy? If so, I would give my eye teeth for it; if not, what is there left to live for?

PS: how normal are my emotions? Is it normal to flip between baseline indifference, to extacy, to exhausted depression that leaves me weeping into my hands and wishing I could tear the nearest object into dust? Do I just need something to anchor my happiness, or is there somethign wrong with me?

You know, my attention has been drawn to the fact that I just don't seem to have much in the way of muse activity anymore, I didn't notice it until it was pointed out to me. I've probably becoming a boring individual where headspace is much more interesting for them then anything outside that happens to me. It's fine really, but still a bit wierd.

Or, more to the point, do you read them years later?

I found the box with a bunch of old journals in it and, unable to help myself, I decided to read them before I destroy them. The first one is 1979 - 1982, years before some of you were born. I was 40 in 1979, with a 13 year old daughter, 19-year old son, and a 19 year old marriage (oh, go ahead. Count on your fingers. The neighbors did. - lol)

Most of it is really boring crap about my writing, which I was delusionary enough to think was good (it wasn't. it was horrible)and my job, which I hated. I should have been keeping better entries about my kids because now that my memory is showing wear and tear, there are so many things I wish I could remember, but don't.

About the writing, I sure sent a lot of it out and of course it deservedly all came back. Most of it I don't even remember. I belonged to a writing group that seldom did anything but eat and gossip.

I'm going to transcribe the parts I think my family might like to see before I consign them to the flames.

But I'm curious to know if anyone else has had this experience of reading old journals and meeting yourself as you used to be--and being surprised.

Anyone else doing Nano?

I feel so alone here... >.>

196 items posted on eBay. Consider shopping early for the holidays!

http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/arkbsales

Search series in the "Find" field.

Thank you for your interest!

So, after a fair few not good days, it seems like things might be on the up.
I've felt awful, tired and exhausted; therapy has been hard; my larp trousers have split; my laptop got sick and this morning wouldn't even turn on and my period started this morning.
But, I went on the adventure and had a great time and even won a point!
The ever-so-talented obsidian_sphinx has revived Keef (laptop) and got it running Ubuntu.
And it's Dr Who tomorrow! :D

Fingers crossed this trend continues.

Mirage of Blaze Novel translation
Latest...
Volume 21, Chapter 5 (Part 1) http://99me.livejournal.com/5035.html
Volume 21, Chapter 5 (Part 2) http://99me.livejournal.com/5182.html

I was wandering a lot around Michael Thomas Ford's novels, never deciding to buy one since, first there were so many to choose from that I didn't know where to start and second I was worried to become addicted and knowing me if I liked one than I for sure I would have bought all of them. So I waited and waited and then in a gay bookstore they were all there, looking at me from the shelves and they are so pretty with those covers that I picked one. The saleswoman told me pick one random, they are all good and my choice was Looking for it.

It's strange, usually I don't like stories with too much characters, I never know for whom to care for and always feel like no one of them has enough space. And above all, at least one of them has not an happy ending. And instead Looking for it made me rethink on my assumptions. It's true, it's the choral story of a groups of friends, all of them gay and all of them represents a way to face gay life. There is Mike, the bartender of the Engine Room, the pub where all of them gather. He seems the more steady of them, always ready to listen to other problems. But also Mike has his bad experience in the past and maybe he is alone since he fears to be burnt again. But Mike is a too good guy to stay alone forever and so enter Father Thomas Dunn, the new episcopal pastor of the S. Peter's Church, the same church where some of the above friends go. So, in a way, Mike and Thomas do the same work, they listen to people problem trying to forget that also them have their own relationship issue. Thomas was in love with a fellow seminarist, a boy he didn't have the courage to love and who died. Since then, Thomas's guilty grew so much that now he is convinced that his punishment is to be alone forever. What I liked of Mike and Thomas' story is that it was without angst; both of them new that it was not an easy relationship but they faced it with an easiness that made it sweet and tender.

The other known couple in the novel is John and Russell, who are facing the classic 7 years love relationship crisis. They love each other, but they arrived in a moment in life and in their relationship, where the other is granted, and you believe that you haven't to prove your love. John and Russell were since the beginning a strange couple, Russell full of joy and life, and John so quiet and shy. Probably this is the reason why they love each other, but living together is a play of balancing, and probably they forgot that. It will be not easy for them to find a way to stay together, but what I liked of their story is that they never stopped to love each other.

Then there is Simon, one of the best character of all. He is 65 years old and recently "widower". His more than 40 life partner died of cancer the year before, and Simon is wondering why he didn't die with him. He has friends, a place to stay but he is alone, and at his age he doesn't believe possible to have a second chance in love. And even if it was, how will he recognize it? He was out of the dating game for so much that the rules are all changed, and he doesn't know if he likes how they are playing now.

The last two men, but not the least important, are Stephen and Greg. In a way they are similar, they both are in the closet but in the opposite way: Greg came out simply living his family and all he knew to live in another city, among strangers who accept him for who he is and not for who they want him to be. Stephen instead is out with his friends but completely in the closet with his family, and living one door next the other it's quite impossible to have a normal relationship. So both of them are limiting their relationship to one night standings, believing in this way to quench the thirst of love they have, and instead gathering so much need inside that sooner or later they will explode.

On a side note there is also the story of Pete, probably the sadder of all. A man who was raised believing that being gay is the worst evil of all, and that has no way to understand his needs and feelings. The only way to claim them is with violence. Even if he is not a "good" guy, I think the author considered him another of his boys, another way to live being gay, I wish this one being the less chosen, but I know that in reality, for many people is the only one. I can't hate Pete, neither after knowing what he did, I can only feel a great pain for him.

On a closing note, Looking for It is a wonderful romance, and it's also pretty sexy, something I seldom have the chance to find in a more mainstream novel. The sex scenes are all good, even the one that serves to the author to prove something, they are enough but not too much, and above all, they are more romantic than free.

And now my only problem is how to choose the next one among the Michael Thomas Ford's novels...

Amazon: Looking For It

Michael Thomas Ford's In the Spotlight post: http://elisa-rolle.livejournal.com/423626.html

The Rainbow Awards: Third (and last!) Phase: http://elisa-rolle.livejournal.com/850354.html


Cover Art by Steve Walker

FateFiction is a new site that supports slash fiction and art that features original characters.
Here is the link!

Some features of the site:
-Other slash-lovers will read and critique.
-Brings fiction and art together
-Writing tips for the up and coming.
-A lounge to hang out with members

And fun out the ass!

If you join, look me up, so that I can welcome you. My name is Ghost.